Shoes: All stars
Bag: Used to be my moms
Choker, bow necklace: Urban outfitters
Dear people who read this,
When I planned to post something this Sunday, I had something else in mind. I’ve written something, but I’m just not happy with it. It still needs a lot of work, before I can be confident enough about it to post.
And for a similar reason I have a different picture. Originally I wanted a picture of me with a favourite outfit of mine, but lately my insecurities are mind controlling. I think in the first post in September I mentioned it briefly before, my insecurities and picking myself apart about every flaw I can find. Not much had changed since then, I still do that till the point of my own frustrations. And it doesn’t help that my hair and I don’t seem to go eye to eye, it never does as I please. Therefore, I decided to grow out my pixie-cut again into a short bob. Which probably means I will have to go through that awful, awkward stage, but that’s only temporary. And neither does it help that my skin is in a terrible state, it’s so oily that it reflects light so much I’m afraid I might blind someone if I’m not careful. My breakouts have not been this bad in, well, ever I think. And for some reason social media is really getting underneath my skin with all those perfect faces, with clear, healthy looking skin, well done hair, pretty noses, sweet smiles and sparkling teeth, that I no way possible I could compare to. Of course I know most of these have used Photoshop, but that doesn’t mean I’m not affected by it. The most frustrating part is that lately I’ve been trying to take some selfies, for the simple reason that I want some prove later on in life on how I once looked, but can’t make one that I’m even the slightest bit pleased with. In fact, every time I see a picture of myself, either made by me or by someone else it haunts me. I only see the ugly and that is what I want to change and what I’ve been trying to and will continue to try.
This is a bit of a winding way of telling you why this post is turning out the way it is, even though none of you knew what that would be like or that even a post would be up. So what does that even matter? Nothing I suppose, it’s just that I’ve got better at being more regular here on my blog, by posting every Wednesday and Sunday and I don’t want that to change just yet. So instead of just leaving you with no post at all, I decided on this one, where I ramble a bit, with a picture of some clothes lying on the ground. And this is also a post to tell you that next Sunday there might be another one, where I ramble away, to come, hopefully a bit more cheerful and not so gloomy and for the weeks after that, I think more similar post will be here every Sunday until I found it in myself to make something better. Or perhaps Sunday is going to be the day I’m going to write letters to you like you would to a friend in the old days.
I wish you all a nice day,