The image stays blurry no matter how much I squint my eyes it remains just not quite sharp. Even the words in my head are muddled. They whirl around to the most unreachable places and will never find their way to paper. My body is tired and only with the most difficulty I can get it to move. What if I would close my eyes for just a second? You know what? I think I might stop for today and perhaps tomorrow as well.
So the next day I stay in bed for half an hour longer. My to-do list, which never seem to reach its end, will remain somewhere in my diary and won’t be used today. Because today I will only do the most necessary like the appointment I have.
In the car on my way the sunshine brightens my mood, that hasn’t been bright in a long time. Everything already seems so much clearer, as if the haze, I had before my eyes (that I didn’t know I had) is burning away and the whirlwind in my head is calming down. The suffocating feeling of the fist around my chest, that has been there for many weeks, is relaxing and I can breathe again. Would you believe me if I said that I, even with this one day feel so much better already and that when the weekend hasn’t even started yet.
And just like Friday, Saturday and Sunday are just as much springlike. No coat is needed, for the first time this year, when we walk around our favourite lake while our dog is jumping and splashing around like it is a pup ones more. Even she is as light as a feather, although most likely she will be walking like an old lady again on Sunday. The water, when the sun is shining so warm, is so tempting to submerge myself in. I long for its cooling effect and the quiet of separation from the world above. But I know that it’s too soon and the water too cold for me to do that, so I will enjoy it vigorously through her.
Time is going fast when you are having fun, but with all this new energy I feel up to a new week. Perhaps taking breaks should be done more often.